Category Archives: Rants

Can’t Mrs. P Just Shut Up?

I know it’s not just me, because I went to a dinner where everyone was shouting across the table about Sarah Palin. I am now feeling resentful toward CBS, which keeps dribbling out more pieces of Katie Couric’s interview with … Continue reading

Posted in News, Rants, Uncategorized, Words | Tagged , , | 37 Comments

Predictions For Biden vs Palin Debate

In honor of the Jewish New Year, I am now ready to reveal my personal history with Sarah “Dumbass” Palin. We met during the Miss Alaska competition in 1984. Sarah was a total cunt even then, but she sucked up … Continue reading

Posted in News, Rants | Tagged , , | 73 Comments

Oh Snap, Grandpa Said “Horseshit!”

At the time, I could hear him make some kind of sound, but I thought Grandpa was just hissing when Obama called him out for not knowing who the president of Spain is. But ha ha, the old maverick actually … Continue reading

Posted in News, Rants | Tagged , , | 17 Comments

Grandpa Wants a Nap!

Wouldn’t you know, Grandpa wants to cancel the debate scheduled for Friday night!   He needs to go to Washington to pretend he’s a leader. NO, GRANDPA! It’s not time for your nap! You can’t back out of the debate just … Continue reading

Posted in Horrible Stuff, News, Rants, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 27 Comments

Focus That Hatred!

People, I know how hard it is to stay focused in today’s fast-paced multi-tasking world, but we must try to funnel our collective hatred toward Grandpa and the Mean Church Lady. Look at this PAP Smear warrior with her Blessed … Continue reading

Posted in Horrible Stuff, News, Rants | 25 Comments

You Can Put Valentino on a Pig…

But it’s still Sarah Palin! Poor Valentino, how awful that Mrs. P chose one of his pieces to make her national debut in. Actually, her stylists chose it, to be fair. Earlier, I read that she sometimes goes to an … Continue reading

Posted in News, Rants | Tagged , , | 21 Comments

Palin Shmalin: We’re Making Progress!

That horrible Palin woman is finally unraveling before our eyes, and I can only think it’s the brave members of PAP Smear who are behind this holy miracle! Today, Tanning-gate (the news that Mrs. P installed a tanning bed in … Continue reading

Posted in News, Rants | Tagged , , , | 31 Comments

“Hair, of course, is never just about the hair.”

This is a quote from a piece about Mrs. P in the New York Times. I couldn’t agree more. Surely your hair says something about how you perceive yourself and how you want to be perceived. Personally, I never liked … Continue reading

Posted in News, Rants | Tagged , , | 22 Comments

Women Who Don’t Get It

Here is ol’ 8-pack Dara Torres, post Olympics, appearing on the runway in a New York fashion show. I’d like to say that I photo-shopped this picture but no. She really does look like a man. But she’s sporting a … Continue reading

Posted in Rants | Tagged , , | 29 Comments

Beehive in The White House: Yes But No

I have barely come down from the high of Obama’s acceptance speech, only to learn that McCain’s choice for Vice President is a busty chick with a huge beehive who used to smoke pot and doesn’t hate gays. Governor Sarah … Continue reading

Posted in News, Rants | Tagged , , | 33 Comments