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Category Archives: Words
The Horror of Unemployment
Having been laid off from a job that paid $500 an hour, I am reduced to looking for work at craigslist. Here is some actual correspondence from this week, typos included, edited only to protect my identity. Hello, I am … Continue reading
Mrs. P’s Book Deal
It stands to reason that a fucking moron with no facility for the English language would be offered several million dollars to write a book. Robert Barnett, the attorney who brokered the deal with HarperCollins, is also quite the linguist. … Continue reading
Girdles Part 2: True Fiction
At thirteen, I still had braces on my teeth but I wore a ton of eyeliner to compensate. I was looking for trouble and I found it in an attic apartment occupied by a pair of Dirty Hippies. The Hippies … Continue reading
Vulgar Ode to the Green Jacket
When this green jacket was delivered, I was afraid to open the package. But like so many things that are scary at first, it was fucking fabulous. This is the most beautiful garment you can imagine. Softest lambskin, velvety soft … Continue reading
Wednesday Night Cuntfest
I subscribe to a newsletter that tells me what’s going on in L.A. Yesterday, it included a plea from a shop in Santa Monica that is struggling to stay in business. They are “reaching out” and asking for support. BUT! … Continue reading
I Want to Live in a World Without Ashton Kutcher
“…the creation of Twitter… is as significant and paradigm-shifting as the invention of Morse code, the telephone, radio, television or the personal computer.” Oh god, if he would only shut up. How does Demi stand it? “For someone like me … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrities, Horrible Stuff, Words
Tagged people who should just die, stupid morons
18 Comments
Guess What the Rodarte Sisters Gave Me!
Nah, just kidding. They don’t know me and I don’t know them. I have never looked at the Satorialist or any other blog that shows people on the street. I don’t want to know about Twitter. But I do spend … Continue reading
Nurse: True Fiction
His girlfriend before me was a nurse. A hard act to follow, I thought bitterly, even before he started dishing out the gory details. He corrected my assumption that she wore a starched white uniform, proudly noting that in fact … Continue reading
A Word From Sarah Palin
Speaking at a Right to Life banquet on Thursday night, Mrs P said she was energized about a lot of topics, including why more people should refuse federal stimulus dollars as she did. Palin said, “We have legislators all around … Continue reading
Madonna, Our Savior
Do you love it or do you love it? All this photo needs is a good caption. Got one, anybody?