A Movie To Not See, No Matter What

On the eve of Mother’s Day, I have just made the mistake of watching a new movie on Showtime called “An American Crime”. I feel emotionally battered and spiritually defiled, but perhaps I can spare someone else from making the same mistake.

The movie is based on a true story. In 1965, a mother of 7 in Indiana took in two young girls as boarders. One of the girls became the focus of the woman’s demented rage, and ended up being tortured to death.

This plot seems timely, given the news from Austria, but there is nothing to be gained from this film, in terms of understanding the forces that can pervert human behavior.

The worst thing is that according to the film and factual accounts of the crime, a group of children took part in torturing the girl. It became an after-school sport to visit the basement and abuse this helpless, broken teenager.

I want to know why ordinary children would do this. I want to know why a filmmaker would chronicle this abuse without offering any insight or consolation. I want to know what the actors were thinking when they took on this project. And I want to be warned before a film this thanklessly brutal appears in my living room.

I could have stopped watching, but I was desperate for catharsis. I felt certain that there would be a payoff of some kind. Silly me. The use of torture as entertainment has no obligation other than financial profit.

If you ever suspect a case of child abuse, don’t hesitate to report it. It won’t matter if you’re wrong, at least you’ll know you tried to help. Look out for each other. And beware of this fucking movie, no matter how much you like Ellen Page.

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All Praise My Dress

I wanted this dress by Yeojin Bae for months, and miraculously it went on sale at Matches. It’s the most perfect dress I’ve ever owned. The workmanship is exquisite! It makes me look fat but you can’t have everything.

Here, below, is how it’s supposed to look. I may not be 19 but I do own a big fake deer head!

In any case, this is your big chance to compliment my dress. Enough   compliments and I may consider modeling my new Ann Demeulemeestereester jacket from Yoox.   It just arrived and it’s a winner.

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Prostitute Chic

Look at this new skirt at shopbop, by Thayer, available for only $253. It’s 100% polyester (so no hookers were killed in the process, I guess.) I love the description: “Destined to become a signature piece.” Ha! I wish I could write copy for shopbop, it would be a dream come true!

I don’t know who would wear Thayer’s Signature Piece, besides Lyndsay Lohan. Or her mom. But I think this four piece get-up for only $34 is a much better value. And it certainly could be someone’s Signature Piece.

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Again With the Penis

Yes, more penis jewelry! This ring comes in silver or gold. Check it out here, where you can find lots of other noteworthy conceptual jewelry.

Not a penis but still covetable, this bracelet by Deadly Ponies is available here.

Either piece would make a nice gift for Mother’s Day!

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A Killer With Good Taste

William Earl Lynd, 53, was put to death at Jackson state prison in Georgia late on Tuesday after a final meal of two pepper jack barbecue burgers with crispy onions, baked potatoes with sour cream, bacon and cheese, and a large strawberry milkshake.

I reported this news to my kid, who thought for a moment and said admiringly “He had good taste.” It’s the kind of meal a teenager wants, even when he’s in his room and not on Death Row.

Don’t feel too bad for Mr. Lynd. He admitted that after shooting his girlfriend and putting her in the trunk, he “heard her thumping around” and then opened the trunk to blast her in the head one more time.

R.I.P., William Lynd. At least you got your burgers!

On a lighter note, six years ago at Louisiana State Penitentiary in Angola, Leslie Martin was executed by lethal injection…. “Much himself even during his final moments, a sort of death row class clown, he told his lawyer ‘You’re fired,’ just after he received the fatal dose.”

I hope to go out like Mr. Martin, although I don’t like the sound of his last meal: crawfish stew, oatmeal cookies and chocolate milk. This is the type of thing we often talk about in my family. One member has already put in an order for egg rolls.

Posted in Horrible Stuff, News | Tagged , | 5 Comments

Bondage Skirts

Time marches on but some things never change. Bondage skirts are always cool, and here are two that I really want and would never wear. But let me emphasize, I really want them.

On the left, Warhol for Levis, at Barneys. On the right, Mulberry at net-a-porter.

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Being Alive

I came upon this essay today, and it reminded me to try to remember every so often that I am alive. It describes that shock of existential clarity when you suddenly experience your self in the moment. It’s such a weird epiphany….sometimes exhilarating or sometimes terrifying, in my experience, anyway. It’s the feeling of “Shit! I’m alive! But not forever! How have I forgotten this?!”

Read the essay, it’s short, and read the comments as well. There is something poignant about the discussion, and it’s entertaining in a nice, unpretentious way.

For sheer existential dread, on the same topic, go here. The original essay, “There is a Secret World” has been expanded and is followed by some impassioned manifestos about how to reject any limitations on one’s personal freedom. I think.   Here is a quote from one of them:

Kiss with every tooth in your mouth, fight with your heart on your sleeve and blood in your eyes–it helps, I promise.

If you’re not feeling too jaded, the romanticism will offest the dread.

Long live rebellious spirits everywhere (except Austria, of course)!

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Madonna Angst

I know, you all love Madonna. You love her dance hits, you admire her for ‘reinventing’ herself, maybe even for being a survivor in the fickle world of pop music. And you think she looks GREAT for 50!

God, I hate Madonna. Just like my tattoo says, ma haine dure. I saw a video clip from her recent show and wow, she was a sight to behold. She looked to me like a grandma doing calisthenics. She seemed a little winded as she lip synced into the mic, but who wouldn’t, from all that exercise!

To be fair, I should commend Madonna for being a fit granny, because many grannies just let themselves go. But I see her turning into Mae West right before my eyes, and no one seems to want to mention this.

Here’s an offer: I will put on a track suit and jump around while lip syncing the song of your choice, for only $19.99. If you call now, I will throw in some weight-lifting tips, too. I guarantee that I’ll look younger than Madge, if not quite as muscular. I’ll even put on a fake English accent!

Posted in Celebrities, Rants | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

Pirating Music is Against the Law!

But not at my house! I woke up to a wonderful gift from my Webmaster…a 2-CD recording of Prince’s performance at Coachella last week. Not only a high quality recording but a track list and everything.

You know how fussy Prince is about copyright infringement, and I don’t blame him, as long as I can still get what I want. I have loved the Little Prince since the first time I heard “Dirty Mind,” many light-years ago. Once, a Prince video from that era was playing on my sister’s TV, and her teenage son ran from the room, shrieking “That’s gay, that’s gay!” His terror only confirmed the rebellious, uninhibited brilliance that is Prince.

Prince, don’t be mad! Remember how we paid a thousand bucks to see you in Vegas? And you didn’t come over to sit in my lap? Now we’re even!

Anyway, I’m listening to the concert as I write this. His version of “Creep” is beyond amazing. Try to get your own Webmaster to burn you a copy.

Posted in Art, Celebrities, Religion | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Is Cindy McCain a Cunt or Not?

Some guys on Fox radio were trying to refer to the surprise question addressed to John McCain today, but they tried hard to avoid using the term”the C word.” Instead, they called it the Deadwood word.

What  the hell?!  I screeched to my husband. Did McCain call his wife a cocksucker?!   I mean, the Deadwood word is surely cocksucker. I think they should’ve  called it the Larry David word. These guys at Fox don’t even know their HBO lingo.

Evidently Mr. MCCain called his wife a trollope and a cunt in front of some campaign workers. It’s obvious the woman’s a trollope, but is she really a cunt? I thought it was Hillary who was the cunt! But no, she’s a monster, and a ‘big fucking whore.’

Listen Mr. McCain, we don’t want a cunt in the White House. If your wife’s a cunt, we demand full transparancy. If the phone rungs at 3 o’clock in the morning, a cunt might just throw the damn thing out the window or something.

I’d like to get it over with and put that black elitist Barack Obama in charge asap, even though he hates America. His wife may be a little uppity, but it’s better than having a white cunt all up in there.

Posted in News, Words | Tagged , , | 6 Comments