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Tag Archives: marriage
Sociopathic Show Pony
Don’t be mad at me for being consumed with Amber and Johnny; Tik Tok videos with the hashtag #JusticForJohnny have been viewed 8.3 billion times! Americans have googled Amber Heard four times more than google searches for abortion or the … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrities, Disorders, News, revenge
Tagged crazy people, Johnny Depp, liars, marriage
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Adulteress: Part One
Years ago, when I was married to the wrong man, I fell madly in love with a guy who sold used books. He wasn’t my type, but he had a certain lanky, preppy appeal. We met when I wandered into … Continue reading
More Fun With Senility
Last night I couldn’t think of Billy Holiday’s name when I heard one of her songs, and tonight I talked to my Keurig machine. It won’t be long now, I’m thinking. Observing one’s own senility as it progresses is probably … Continue reading
The Ex Revisited
Twenty years on, I am still rattled by my husband’s fucking ex. Not only has she opened a tiki-themed restaurant too close to my neighborhood, she has recently written the following: “There was a time in my youth, those long … Continue reading
The Fork
Remember The Nose War? Well, now it’s a fork. There’s a fork on the bookcase by the front door, and it’s been there for at least a week. Maybe two weeks. My teenager asked me about it, without implying that … Continue reading
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What a Fucking Cunt!™
Godammit, I told you so!. I can’t stand Arnold and I have never figured out why people believe he is anything other than a big stupid moron. The myth that Arnold is “actually very smart” is just preposterous! Fuck! Way … Continue reading
Date Night
Last night, the sons were both out for the evening and we had the house to ourselves. My husband turned on the Jimmy Fallon Show, which was showing clips from the forthcoming documentary about the making of Exile on Main … Continue reading
Troubled Teen Part 2: The Road Trip
Two weeks after I turned fourteen, I hit the road with my boyfriend. A day or two earlier, my mom had issued an ultimatum: Either I stop seeing him, or she would call the police. I had brought him home … Continue reading
The Price of Money
I was reading some crap about Michelle Obama’s style vs Carla Bruni’s, when I was stopped short by this photo. The woman in green makes Carla Bruni look like a PTA lady, doesn’t she? Shiekha Moza is married to the … Continue reading
The Nose War
When you’ve been in a relationship for years and years, you need to make an effort to have fun. Here’s a game I just made up, called The Nose War: There’s a little rubber nose on my kitchen floor, just … Continue reading