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Monthly Archives: May 2009
Mrs. P’s Book Deal
It stands to reason that a fucking moron with no facility for the English language would be offered several million dollars to write a book. Robert Barnett, the attorney who brokered the deal with HarperCollins, is also quite the linguist. … Continue reading
Girdles Part 2: True Fiction
At thirteen, I still had braces on my teeth but I wore a ton of eyeliner to compensate. I was looking for trouble and I found it in an attic apartment occupied by a pair of Dirty Hippies. The Hippies … Continue reading
Look Sexy, But Say No
Thanks to the diligence of Palingates, I’m now aware of The Candie’s Foundation, the organization that hired Bristol Palin as a poster girl for teenage abstinence. If there’s not enough hypocrisy in Bristol Palin telling teenagers not to have sex, … Continue reading
Vulgar Ode to the Green Jacket
When this green jacket was delivered, I was afraid to open the package. But like so many things that are scary at first, it was fucking fabulous. This is the most beautiful garment you can imagine. Softest lambskin, velvety soft … Continue reading
Wednesday Night Cuntfest
I subscribe to a newsletter that tells me what’s going on in L.A. Yesterday, it included a plea from a shop in Santa Monica that is struggling to stay in business. They are “reaching out” and asking for support. BUT! … Continue reading
Living With Your Face
When I saw this picture today, I was transfixed. When I saw Connie Culp on the news tonight, I was stunned. As “the nation’s first face transplant recipient,” here’s what she said: Don’t judge people who don’t look the same … Continue reading
Madonna Brings It
YES. She nailed it.
I Want to Live in a World Without Ashton Kutcher
“…the creation of Twitter… is as significant and paradigm-shifting as the invention of Morse code, the telephone, radio, television or the personal computer.” Oh god, if he would only shut up. How does Demi stand it? “For someone like me … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrities, Horrible Stuff, Words
Tagged people who should just die, stupid morons
18 Comments
Shopping: The Relapse
Having admitted that I am addicted to shopping, I vowed to stop. Nevertheless, I bought this jacket. Can anyone explain why I need it? Complete this sentence: “I’m glad I bought this jacket because now ____________”
Guess What the Rodarte Sisters Gave Me!
Nah, just kidding. They don’t know me and I don’t know them. I have never looked at the Satorialist or any other blog that shows people on the street. I don’t want to know about Twitter. But I do spend … Continue reading