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Author Archives: Sister Wolf
Enjoy My Colon
Today I had the privilege of another colonoscopy. My mother had colon cancer, so this is her gift to me. I looked forward to the propofol, but little else. The fasting and the nauseating potion you have to drink are … Continue reading
Can We Agree on This?
Even though it’s not important and it doesn’t matter, I still want to know about Angelina’s lips. Everyone seems to accept that those lips are really real. “Just look at Shilo’s lips!” As a teenager, above, her top lips was … Continue reading
Underwear and Word Usage
I just got this Hanky Panky Retro Thong in two colors, and I can’t overstate their perfection. They are the Holy Grail of underpants. Let me just quote Hanky Panky’s website: A high-waisted panty with figure-flattering coverage everywhere you need … Continue reading
Douche or Dreamboat?
Remember the last time we struggled with this? On the one hand, this guy is dressed like a clown. On the other hand, he projects intelligence, confidence and a rakish challenge. Do you want to grab his jacket and run? … Continue reading
Foxconn, Apple and Hell
Remember that factory in China where 17 workers committed suicide? Remember how we were assured that compared to the general population of China, this rate of suicide was actually very low? Foxconn is Apple’s largest supplier of iPads and iPhones. … Continue reading
Behold the Willis Girls
I was thrilled to hear that Tallulah Willis (middle, above) was chosen to attend the prestigious Debutantes Ball at the Crillon Hotel on Paris’ Place de la Concorde. At just 17 years old, Tallulah is one of the youngest of … Continue reading
Chanel is Crap and Cunt of the Week™
Here is Chanel’s new red nail polish, “Pirate.” It was $23 plus tax. This is what is looks like after one week. It is the shittiest nail polish ever. Ever. Don’t fall for it! Get some cheap brand from a … Continue reading
The Art of Self Harming
Mary Coble is a dedicated artist whose 2005 performance piece, Note to Self, involved being tattooed with the names of 436 gay, lesbian, bi and transgendered people who died as a result of hate crimes. The performance took 12 hours. … Continue reading
A Very Nice Person
Look at this nice person I met at the mall today! I asked him about his sit-ups and whether he did a lot of crunches. But he was too nice to talk about his work-out regime. All he wanted to … Continue reading
What I’ve Learned About Suicide (for Simone)
I’ve learned that doctors are trying to develop a predictive tool that could warn of a patient’s risk of suicide. “We can identify those individuals with highest risk for potential suicide, but we can’t identify those who will commit suicide … Continue reading
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