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More Willis Fun
Why does Tallulah’s head always look like it was photo-shopped on to her body? It has the same jarring appearance in every picture. Does it jut forward around cameras, or is she without benefit of a neck? When her internship … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrities, Disorders, Horrible Stuff, Religion
Tagged academia, Satan, Willis sisters
22 Comments
Hair and Jackets Progress Report
Looking back on the Bad Hair Lament and the close call with the Topshop Jacket, I can only say Thank god it all worked out okay. Andy fixed the hair and if you live in LA, he will fix yours, … Continue reading
A Bad Hair Day
When I’m not happy with my hair, nothing else matters. I am acutely fixated on the not-goodness of my hair. I tried lightening it to a brown color, forgetting how stubborn my hair is about staying black. It is now … Continue reading
Knock-off Shoes: Yes or No?
Seeing these Jeffrey Campbell shoes for $118 made me recall in sickening detail my quest for these shoes, below, by Acne. I think I paid around $450 for the Acne shoes, which I found at Opening Ceremony, a store that … Continue reading
Posted in Disorders, Fashion
20 Comments
Mr. Michigan: True Fiction
At the time, he was my physical ideal, the embodiment of my perfect fantasy. When I noticed him at the gym, my heart lurched. He was the image of Conan the Barbarian, but his flat baby face was much sweeter. … Continue reading
Posted in Disorders, Words
12 Comments
What’s With the Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation?
You just have to ask, What the hell is wrong with these guys? Both Michael Hutchence and David Carradine would have no trouble getting laid. Or even, getting laid in some unconventional way. So why risk death just to get … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrities, Disorders, Horrible Stuff, News
Tagged death, ice cream, men, sex
20 Comments
When is Bitterness a Disorder?
Psychiatrists have defined a new subgroup of what is known as ‘adjustment disorders.’ Somewhat similar to post traumatic stress disorder, post traumatic embitterment disorder is triggered by a negative life event which “is experienced as a violation of basic beliefs … Continue reading
Sharon Osbourne Needs to Call Me
Sharon Osbourne is known to be a voracious shopper capable of dropping $65,000 on a single excursion. I don’t know much else about her. My friend Jane invited me to come with her to a private sale of Sharon Osbourne’s … Continue reading
I’m Just Here to Help
Do you want to consider whether your use of the Internet is an addiction? Me neither! Then don’t go here to find out. Do you think it would be tragic to use a website called Closet Viewer to catalog your … Continue reading
MySpace Romance: True Fiction
Just when I’m trying to finish writing a story I’ve been struggling with, I have to go and orchestrate another MySpace debacle. Can someone please keep track of these for me? I’m losing count. This one was triggered by some … Continue reading