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Category Archives: Disorders
Amal Clooney Challenges Angelina Jolie To A Thin Arms Smackdown
Clotheshorse lawyer and handbag hoarder Amal Clooney has issued a challenge to rival Angelina Jolie in the Thin Arms Olympics. Wearing a priceless vintage YSL gown at the Berlin premiere of husband George Clooney’s new movie, Amal looked every inch … Continue reading
The New 63
The New 63 is the same as the old 63, but with more resentment and defensiveness. I hesitated to write this post about my birthday, since my age would be off-putting to young people. Who cares what an old bag … Continue reading
Weekend Hatefest
I’ll start with the word ‘pant’ in the picture above. Why can’t they use ‘pants’? The singular ‘pant’ is so grating, like ‘a red lip,’ which we all hate so robustly. I’m really struggling with existence. I’m looking for relief … Continue reading
Thinking and Writing About Your Stuff
The other day, I dutifully checked in on the Ex Wife’s literary efforts, not just because I’m nuts but because they are so breathtakingly stupid. I always come away feeling both gratified and enraged. I can’t help it! She writes … Continue reading
Botanica: A Field Trip
Remember going on field trips when you were a kid? It was a chance to get out the classroom, and it would an adventure. Not always a good one, but a diversion from the routine of school. Last week I … Continue reading
Learning to Shut Up
The other night, I was upset by something someone had dropped into a phone conversation, and for hours afterward I struggled with the impulse to demand an explanation or retraction. By struggle, I mean I actually had to stop myself … Continue reading
Big Black Boots
Years ago, I posed in these big black boots, aware that they looked stupid with the dress but probably thinking I was cool anyway. It was eight years ago and a whole other life. The boots are in my closet, … Continue reading
Looking For My Group
In my desperation for contact with kindred spirits, I joined Meetup.com with the idea of finding a social group in my community that I could join. You punch in your zip-code and you’re presented with a bunch of categories to … Continue reading
Green Rihanna Creepers: A Love Story
If you live in the world of pop culture and fashion, you know all too well that the green suede Puma creepers by Rihanna are the new holy grail. And you’ve been anxiously awaiting May 26, when they were scheduled … Continue reading
What Is A Nervous Breakdown? Part II
It occurred to me that SiteLock is some kind of scam, which is odd, because Bluehost is a widely used and seemingly legit hosting service. When I googled ‘SiteLock reviews,’ I discovered an impassioned community of SiteLock victims, who were … Continue reading
Posted in Disorders, Rants, revenge
Tagged liars, people who should just die, Stupid fucking idiots
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