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Category Archives: Disorders
Complaint Round-up, Take Two
Okay, so there’s skin cancer, big deal, removed and stitched up. If it were a serious life-threatening form of cancer, I would ignore it. But somehow, I’ve ended up making a million doctor appointments, as though I’m a car getting … Continue reading
Poor Little Bear
I have been too sad lately. Too sad to stay awake and too sad to live. It comes and goes. When it doesn’t go, I get worried and even more despondent. It’s something to do with my genes and my … Continue reading
The Lure Of Gucci
And the shame of Michael Kors. Continue reading
The Sadness Of Shoes
I scrolled by these shoes today and felt their sadness. They’re trying hard to look gay and festive and boho, but you can see right through that shaky facade. They are about to cry. I don’t know about you, but … Continue reading
Amal Clooney Challenges Angelina Jolie To A Thin Arms Smackdown
Clotheshorse lawyer and handbag hoarder Amal Clooney has issued a challenge to rival Angelina Jolie in the Thin Arms Olympics. Wearing a priceless vintage YSL gown at the Berlin premiere of husband George Clooney’s new movie, Amal looked every inch … Continue reading
The New 63
The New 63 is the same as the old 63, but with more resentment and defensiveness. I hesitated to write this post about my birthday, since my age would be off-putting to young people. Who cares what an old bag … Continue reading
Weekend Hatefest
I’ll start with the word ‘pant’ in the picture above. Why can’t they use ‘pants’? The singular ‘pant’ is so grating, like ‘a red lip,’ which we all hate so robustly. I’m really struggling with existence. I’m looking for relief … Continue reading
Thinking and Writing About Your Stuff
The other day, I dutifully checked in on the Ex Wife’s literary efforts, not just because I’m nuts but because they are so breathtakingly stupid. I always come away feeling both gratified and enraged. I can’t help it! She … Continue reading
Botanica: A Field Trip
Remember going on field trips when you were a kid? It was a chance to get out the classroom, and it would an adventure. Not always a good one, but a diversion from the routine of school. Last week I … Continue reading
Learning to Shut Up
The other night, I was upset by something someone had dropped into a phone conversation, and for hours afterward I struggled with the impulse to demand an explanation or retraction. By struggle, I mean I actually had to stop myself … Continue reading