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Category Archives: Words
Thriftshop Healing
I have developed a new obsession with silk pajamas, having bought a beautiful pair for $6.99 at Goodwill. Now, I have to look for more, because that’s what happens when you have a shopping disorder. Today, I was patiently searching … Continue reading
I Am Nonplussed, Motherfuckers.
The Daily Mail online is the world’s most popular newspaper website, and yet they struggle to use English. How can we help them understand that nonplussed does not mean nonchalant? This is apparently a common misunderstanding but I don’t know … Continue reading
The Lure Of Gucci
And the shame of Michael Kors. Continue reading
The Sadness Of Shoes
I scrolled by these shoes today and felt their sadness. They’re trying hard to look gay and festive and boho, but you can see right through that shaky facade. They are about to cry. I don’t know about you, but … Continue reading
Recycling Hostility
In just one day, I have received threats of physical violence and an actual curse, both transmitted over the Internet. Now, I am fully aware of having myself generated enough hostility online to light up several baseball stadiums if not … Continue reading
The Lena Dunham Problem, Solved
If you’ve always felt uneasy about disliking Lena Dunham, today she has given you license to go ahead and find her repugnant. You don’t have to struggle with your looks-ism or whatever else was holding you back. She’s an annoying … Continue reading
Millennials Ruin Everything
On an excursion to downtown L.A., we came across this hipster outside a coffee house, reading Nausea. It was like seeing a panda in its own habitat, only better. I know it looks posed, but I swear to god he … Continue reading
Apologies To Leslie Jones, Even Though I’m White
I want to apologize to Leslie Jones for the awfulness of people on the Internet. When she was abused on Twitter by a bunch of brain-damaged racist trolls led by some cunt from Breitbart, I was truly aghast at the … Continue reading
If It Walks Like A Slut And It Quacks Like A Slut, It’s Melania!
Melania Trump is mad at The Daily Mail, Politico, and eight other news outlets for reporting that she once worked for an ‘escort agency.’ Her lawyer – the same one who represented Hulk Hogan in his lawsuit against Gawker media … Continue reading