I don’t know why a gap between the front teeth is so endearing, but I assume it’s something to do with evoking babies. I can’t resist a gap-toothed smile. It’s only fair that Johnny Depp got the gappest-toothed woman in the world.
My BFF has a gap, and I’d ask my dentist to give me one if I thought he’d cooperate.
Is Brigitte Bardot the modern prototype, or was there someone before her?? (The Wife of Bath doesn’t count.)
Let’s get through this quickly: Sea is so excited about her shopping trip to Tokyo that she’s already started packing. Why is she packing those Prada shoes that are supposed to be Mom’s? There’s some funny business going on with those shoes, just don’t ask me what.
Sea also posed on her bed for some photos with a wistful look on her face. I’m beginning to feel queasy about her nostrils, which seem unusually cavernous lately.
Mom’s eBay purchases in the last six months have reached a total of 393. That is some mad curating!
Even though Sea doesn’t allow comments, she has asked her readers to recommend the best toy stores in Tokyo.
If you can help out with the toy stores OR just want to say Hi, you can leave your comments for Sea here. I will go first:
Dear Sea, Have fun in Tokyo and please spend as much of Dad’s money as is humanly possible. Thanks, xo SW
What the hell is up with Sass & Bide?
This skirt is just baffling. Shopbop, naturally, $265. Add Goony Bird and it’s a complete nightmare.
Can anyone explain?
Just to make sure we get how outrageous she is, Tamara Mellon, co-founder of has-been shoe company Jimmy Choo, posed nude for loathsome pervert/rapist Terry Richardson.
Correctly deducing that the new line of $600 Jimmy Choo sneakers wasn’t horrific enough to earn her the coveted Cunt of the Week award, Ms. Mellon daringly said of her photo shoot:
“I mean, it’s nude but it’s chic. I wonder what they’ll say at the next board meeting.”
Poor awful woman. She sued her own mother for $9 million dollars. Why does she keep trying to make us hate her? Why does she have to involve a cat in this nonsense?
All I know is, Tamara Mellon is an overachiever in the cunt department and richly deserves to be Cunt of the Week . Nice work, Tamara!
I love the shopping site Farfetch as much as the next man, but I was not happy with today’s feature, a lesson on How to Wear Double Denim.
First of all, I don’t want the term “double denim.” Take it away! Who made it up, anyway? Is it The Gap? WendyB discussed the wearing of double denim a few weeks ago. Most of her readers seemed to feel, Yes, I’m into it. I personally didn’t like the examples she showed but then I forgot about it. Now I see it’s a bona fide fashion Problem.
If you need to ask how to wear double denim, you should just give up. Don’t wear anything. Stay home in bed. How hard is wearing denim for fuck sake?!
Farfetch shows us three ways to “pull if off.” This is perilously close to “getting it right.” It’s so dogmatic! Who is to decide whether you pulled it off, besides the Satorialist?
The looks devised by Farfetched seem completely arbitrary but they are given categories, because People like categories. There is Tough, Pale and Preppy. Preppy is a silly Tom Sawyer costume, Pale is kind of Pseudo French Girl, and Tough is sexy because it’s modeled by Abby Lee Kershaw, a young goddess. There are all sorts of bossy rules involved in each look.
Now I’m feeling really bad about double denim. I don’t think I normally wear jeans with anything else denim, but whatever, it’s dead to me now.
HOWEVER! I just went to Macy’s to get my kid a shirt and in the men’s department they had skin tight skinny cut Levi’s in bright colors like turquoise and red, for only $59. I would wear red Levi’s with a denim jacket. But not now. I’m too stubborn, and I don’t have $59.
when you’re 56 and just finished a brutal workout.
Just a reminder to doubters. xo
Crystal Renn posed nude in the May issue of French Vogue, and the sight of her public hair has been too much for some people. The comments at The Cut are filled with revulsion for Crystal’s crotch.
Whether the photos are flattering or appropriate or anything else, my interest is in the reactions. What the hell is wrong with people? Those who object to the pubic hair insist that their aesthetic hasn’t been formed by porn. They talk about how nice it is to be “clean down there.”
What isn’t clean about natural hair? It seems very anti-woman to insist on a waxed crotch. The hair is a sign of adulthood – it’s what separates a woman’s body from a child’s.
I admit I don’t watch porn. It make me too sad. But I’m aware there’s a fatwa on body hair these days. It seems creepy and it seems babyish. It’s as if the very idea of pubic hair is terrifying.
It depresses me to confront the fact that women have yet another reason to feel shame about their bodies. I’m glad that Crystal Renn is breaking barriers, if that’s what she’s doing. If she reads those comments, though, she may feel she’s committed a federal crime by looking like a natural woman.
Opinions, anyone?
Why do people want to look at those photos of pretentious-looking girls wearing important shoes with fur coats and enormous handbags? Who gives a shit! I’ve only looked at The Satorialist once and that was enough. Forget about his images; his text is nauseating!
I don’t care about him or his French girlfriend or any of those blogs that feature smug anorexics wrapped in leather or whatever is supposed to be fierce and covetable. No matter how often they’re praised as “effortlessly chic,” they look like they’ve spent half of their lives in front of a mirror.
I can’t even understand what I’m supposed to feel when I look at those pictures. Am I supposed to feel inspired, like maybe I can appropriate the Look for myself? Am I supposed to be envious? I just feel vaguely soiled from looking at them. It’s like porn for the post-sexual consumer. And to me, they all look the same, they’re are the same cliche, all lauded for being original and “getting it right.” Getting it Right is my new linguistic complaint.
Fashion is still an obsession for me, obviously, with a certain amount of love-hate conflict. Here are some looks from Secret Squirrel, a brand you can find at the Australian fashion wonderland The Grand Social. This is what I would buy if I had some money and some common sense:
It’s casual but elegant, tomboyish but okay for an old bag, much better than leather shorts or another pair of jeans.
Here’s another look from Secret Squirrel. I would feel perfectly comfortable in this for an evening out, not that I’m ever going anywhere.
You’d think I would know who I was by now, when I buy clothes. Instead, I keep buying buying shit I can’t walk in, can’t style properly, or can’t even figure out what I was thinking when I bought it. I think Secret Squirrel could help me to Get it Right.
Nearly two years ago, I brought up the subject of antinatalism here, and the arguments that ensued in the comments thread were impassioned, long-winded, and hysterically funny.
I’ve just discovered that the argument about antinatalism is still going strong, so if you missed it, check up on it here and here. I think the proponents of this belief system are not only wrong but tragically unglued. They appear to be desperately trapped in an endless loop of faulty logic, with no evident escape.
Enjoy!
Another Saturday at Nordstrom, and look! It’s Faith, the Hot Nordstrom Girl! I was so happy to see her that I got the BFF to take some pictures.
Faith has an internship with a hot L.A. designer but for now, she is still at Nordstrom. You can’t see from this picture, but she was wearing the leopard print wedge clodhoppers by Jeffrey Campbell, which I correctly identified without being solicited to do so.
If I could wake up tomorrow and be twenty, I’d get a hairdo like Faith’s. If I did it now, my BFF was quick to point out, I’d just look like I had cancer.
Here, I’m wearing: H&M jacket, Rag and Bone trousers, t-shirt from my t-shirt drawer, and tiger claw earring (ha ha for you, Shelly!) If you want to gush about how awesome I look, please call me “Judy.” Thanks. xo
We moved on from Faith to the lingerie department, where my BFF hesitated to buy some racy stockings until I screamed “MEN LOVE THESE!” which drew the attention of a grey-haired shopper nearby.
The BFF bought some other items, including a pair of knickers by Elle MacPherson, even though she couldn’t find the matching bra. If you knew my BFF, you’d know how unthinkable this is. She will never consider buying lingerie unless it’s a matching set. I was amazed. She explained that she could wear the knickers with a dress that didn’t require a bra underneath. Aha!
Personally, I don’t give a shit if my undergarments are a matching set. Black goes with everything; white is bad. Those are my only rules for lingerie. But I’m so nice that I spent at least half an hour online to track down the matching Elle MacPherson bra and here it is:
I may be an awful person, but I’m a really good friend.
