Cunt of the Week™: Terry Richardson

I’ve hated this cunt since the first time I laid eyes on him. I didn’t have to hear a model’s confession about his behavior to know how unsavory a creature he is. He adopts the look of a shady pervert and clearly revels in it. Think how funny it must seem to him! “I look like a disgusting scumbag, AND THE JOKE IS THAT I AM ONE!” Haha, Terry, we get it.

Every time I’ve seen his name on a fashion layout that crosses the line into soft porn, I’ve felt vaguely soiled. Now it’s good to know that he’s widely hated.

On his website, he has posted a terse little note of self-pity. His feelings are hurt, he says. Elsewhere on the world wide web you can find some commentary that goes like this: Big deal, everyone knows that Terry likes to get it on with models. That’s business as usual.

What?!? This fucker is a blight on the civilized world. I don’t want to hear one more word about his huge penis or how often he waves it around. I’m sorry that he has defenders, because some things are indefensible. He uses his power to molest and humiliate models who believe this is the price they must pay to get work. No one is there to protect them or back them up. Not Vogue, Rolling Stone, GQ, not the agencies, nobody.

I know I’m probably preaching to the choir here. But if you really hate this cunt and you want to make a difference, why not send an email to the CEO of Conde Nast Publications Inc? Here’s what I wrote to charles_townsend@condenast.com:

Dear Mr. Townsend,

As a longtime reader of Vogue and W,   I am disturbed by the unprofessional and in some cases criminal behavior of the photographer Terry Richardson. I urge you to stop publishing the work of this sexually predatory individual at once. Fashion should not be tainted by the abuse of models, and consumers don’t want to be a part of such practices. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this matter.

Yours truly,

Sister Wolf

~

It feels good to write to a CEO! Let’s see what happens.


Posted in Disorders, Fashion, Horrible Stuff, News | Tagged , , | 56 Comments

They Grow Up So Fast, Don’t They?

Uh-oh.

Posted in Fashion, News | Tagged , , | 31 Comments

The Cher Sighting

Today, I went to Beverly Hills with the BFF and she had to hiss “Cher!” at me before I noticed Cher standing right by us in the Neiman Marcus shoe department! I turned to gawk at Cher, who looked just like herself only much smaller. She is actually quite tiny, in height and weight. She said to her assistant/handmaiden something like, “It’s really cute, isn’t it?” and her voice was EXACTLY like her voice!

I was so excited that I couldn’t stop staring. My BFF wanted me to stop, but I didn’t care. I wanted to take in every element: The black cargo pants with a million zippers, the long blue-black hair, the sunglasses that she never took off. When Cher sat down and removed her jacket to reveal a tight black bodysuit, I squealed, “Oooh, look at the implants!”

My BFF managed to move me along and we went upstairs, only to find Cher in the same place 30 minutes later. Her assistant/handmaiden was helping her to try on jackets, which she held open for Cher like an attentive date.

We tried on sunglasses while I kept an eye on Cher. I modeled a pair of sunglasses by some stupid brand I’ve never heard of, that the salesgirls were pushing aggressively. “Aren’t these glorious!” I exclaimed a little too loudly, raising the eyebrows of a gay guy who clearly didn’t agree. Everyone tried to persuade me that another pair was more flattering but I was fixated on the glorious ones.

Meanwhile, Cher was strutting around in the new Olive green Balmain military jacket.

It looked preposterous on her but she seemed quite taken with it. I turned to the salesgirls and squealed, “Look! Cher is trying on the Balmain jacket!” They nodded and the gay guy confided, “She likes Balmain.” I complained to the BFF that Cher should leave that jacket to the girl whose boyfriend hits her. It took a while before she retrieved the word, “Rihanna.”

I bought the glorious sunglasses with ny NM charge card, meaning they were free! Don’t tell my husband.

Then, we walked down the street to Saks. A frightening, giant Nordic woman showed me some awful new lipstick by Guerlain, and the BFF bought a sexy bustier by Camilla and Marc. We relaxed in the Saks cafe, where I ate an apple tart that cost $9 and started to realize that the sunglasses were a tragic mistake.

But at least I saw Cher!

Posted in Celebrities, Disorders, Fashion | Tagged , , | 30 Comments

The Poetry of Stylebop

I love these shoes, but not as much as the selling points, as dreamed up by Stylebop. The Agnes Deyn reference almost ruined them for me, but not quite. If   they were affordable, I would wear them with everything except for the hippie dresses and petticoats.

Stylebop sells beautiful stuff that you can’t always find online. For me, the attraction is the copy-writing. Where else would a “small 1cm wooden heel” be described in the same breath as “robust?”

Go to Stylebop and enjoy its wonderful malaprops and cockamamie styling advice!

Posted in Fashion, Words | Tagged , , | 12 Comments

Comments For Jane 3/18/2010

Okay, it’s time to get serious. After reading a new interview with Sea here, and then having a look at her “other” blog, I see there is something going on. Upon deliberating, I think I have cracked the code.

Sea of Shoes is actually code for SOS! It is a cri de coeur from Jane,   begging the world to deliver her from her demons.

I hear you, Jane! In the interview, she is asked to describe herself in 3 words. She answers: “Dirty old man.” Oh my! Elsewhere, in response to the question, “Tell me something most people wouldn’t know about you,” she says, “I’m a big sicko.”

OKAY, I GET IT. You’re a dark soul with fetishes aplenty, or you’re a lesbian. This is why your latest entry at your “other” blog is a naked woman displaying her anus.   It explains the emphasis on tits and ass. Instead of dropping hints, it might be better to just integrate your dark, lesbitious side into your everyday life and to feel okay with it.

Jane doesn’t want your comments but you can leave them here instead. I will go first:

Dear Sea, Don’t be ashamed of who you are. Just be ashamed of buying all those shoes. Love, SW

Posted in Disorders, Fashion | Tagged , , | 41 Comments

The Face Problem

When I saw this picture today, showing Mackenzie Phillips‘ new face, I was so excited that I sent the link to my BFF.

Apparently, Mackenzie   spent $50,000 on the new face, for laser resurfacing, cosmetic dental work, botox, etc etc. Look how much younger her face looks! See how full and fresh it looks, compared to the other face, which is clearly thinner and droopier! I felt a deeper sense of urgency about injecting my face full of Restylane and Sculptra. Not now, of course, but as soon as I can somehow get my hands on a spare thousand dollars or two.

Imagine my horror to discover that the face on the left is the OLD face! The new one is on the right, with the darker hair.

What the fuck is going on here?!? Somebody owes that poor woman an apology and $50,000.

I wonder what she sees when she looks in the mirror. Is there any way that we can see our own faces objectively?

One of my nephews once concluded after seeing Faye   Dunaway on TV: “It’s better to let nature fuck your face up than to do it artificially.”   Amen. I only hope I can remember that if I ever get rich.

Posted in Celebrities, News | Tagged , , | 32 Comments

Key Trends to Avoid

I plan to avoid any look devised by Alexander Wang, including this disturbing boot. Each time I see it, I feel upset. It looks like a shoe giving birth to another shoe, and that’s not something I want to dwell upon. Or perhaps it’s a bit like a parasitic twin, a subject I actually enjoy but not as portrayed by this shoe.

I will be skipping the long side braid, too. Anyone I come across who has a long braid falling over one shoulder will be instantly assessed as a tragic fashion victim. If you’ve been wearing your hair this way for years, fine. Just carry a dated photo with you.

Alexander Wang says two things to me: Erin Wasson and Rumi. I cannot extract him from these muses or whatever they are. He’s dead to me.

Another trend to avoid is the New Military Look. Not the old Military Look that features the horrible marching band jacket a la Michael Jackson. The NEW Military Look is all about army surplus-looking stuff in olive drab or khaki. How many times must we resort to stupid uniforms? Just wait until you can’t find skinnies* (*sorry!) because they’ve been replaced by cargo pants.

Watch out for the stylized Cat-eye Sunglasses, once again instigated by Alexander Wang and coveted by all the blogger girls. The correct response to a picture of the $325 AW version is   “love.” Just the one word. Of course you want a pair, but try to resist. Sure all the kids   are doing it, but if Jimmy said to jump off a cliff, would you do that too?

Tribal, digital prints, clogs, what other important trends am I missing? The only one that works for me is Leather, because In Leather is Truth. (Something Something Veritas.)

Posted in Fashion, Rants | Tagged , , , | 41 Comments

Sparkly Happiness for Everyone!

Rainbows and unicorns make everything happy, even Tragic Fashion Boy! Cornify is “the number #1 unicorn and rainbow service worldwide, providing sparkles and happiness for all.”

You can download a Cornify bookmark to Cornificate boring web pages: the more you click on it, the more sparkly happiness ensues. YAY for happy cuteness!

Take that, you stupid bitches who complain that I’m full of hate!

Posted in Art | Tagged , | 21 Comments

Cunt of the Week™: Pope Benedict XVI

The current Pope, or “Ratty” as he is known in some quarters, has turned out to be a complete cunt.   As the clerical sexual abuse crisis erupts in Germany, the Vatican is doing its best this weekend to protect the Pope and to accuse his detractors of a smear campaign designed to bring him down.

Ratty’s own brother, George, the master of Germany’s leading Catholic boys’ choir for 30 years, denies being aware of the rampant sexual abuse at the boarding school but admits to slapping boys in the face. The German government has accused the Vatican of suppressing the truth about sexual abuse, citing the 2001 directive that declared cases of abuse in Catholic schools “subject to papal confidentiality.” The directive was written by Ratty, in his role as   Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.

In 1980, while Ratty headed the Archdiocese of Munich and Freising, he approved therapy and transfer for a priest accused of molesting boys. The priest was allowed to resume pastoral duties, and committed further abuses before being convicted. A subordinate has taken the fall for Ratty, insisting that everything was his fault, but The Rev. Thomas P. Doyle, who once worked at the Vatican Embassy in Washington, says this is nonsense.

Ratty has displayed little interest in going after abusers or seeking justice for victims. He has made statements trying to minimize the problem and to suggest it was exaggerated by the media. He is now making a big show of concern but it’s hard to see his recent flurry of meetings as anything but damage control.

I’m sorry if Catholics are offended to hear that the pontiff is a cunt. But he’s been one since the beginning. He refused to sign a UN declaration on the rights of homosexuals and the disabled. He went to Africa to announce that condoms could make the AIDS crisis worse. He offended Muslims by calling them evil and inhuman, and he offended the world by reinstating an excommunicated Bishop who is a vocal Holocaust denier.

Name one good thing about this cunt! Liberals in the church who had hoped for a return to the spirit of Vatican II were understandably depressed when Ratty was named Pope. Here is a quote I like, heard on the occasion of Ratty’s inaugeration: “Electing Ratzinger after John Paul, is like electing Rumsfeld after George Bush.”

Congratulations, Pope Benedict XVI!

Posted in Rants, Religion | Tagged , | 40 Comments

The Floral Slouch Clog

Hahahaha!

$248 at Free People.

Posted in Fashion, revenge | Tagged , | 47 Comments