Andrew Krasnow: What a Fucking Cunt™!

andrewkrasnow-is-a-cunt

Okay, so Andrew Krasnow is an ‘artist’ whose medium is human skin.

His ‘work’ is made from the skin of White men who have donated their bodies to science. Apparently, the left over skin can be purchased at auction. Eoow.

Anyway, Krasnow’s ‘work’ is controversial. But it will be on exhibit in July at the GV Art gallery in London. I’m sure there will be quite a turn-out. The gallery owner notes that Andrew “uses skin to make the point that suffering is universal. It is tanned using the same process that you’d use for an animal skin.

Krasnow says his work represents his opposition to war and bla bla bla. He also makes lampshades out of skin, to make the statement that bla bla bla. Yep, lampshades.

Can we all agree that Andrew Krasnow is a fucking cunt?
~

On the subject of human skin, but this time involving Actual Art, tonight I saw the French horror film Eyes Without a Face for the first time. If there’s anyone left who hasn’t seen it yet, let me say that it lives up to its reputation. Shocking, haunting and poetic, it also nearly made me throw up. Don’t watch it right after dinner.

Posted in Art, Horrible Stuff, Rants | Tagged , , | 55 Comments

Fashion’s New Rules for Fall 09

acne-bigass-platforms_fall09

You will be craving bigass platform wedges and baggy Boyfriend Jackets. Or else.

Acne Fall 09

Posted in Fashion | Tagged , | 21 Comments

An Apology From Sister Wolf

sorry-for-arnold

I would like to apologize for the state of California, its idiotic voters and its supreme court, on this black day in our history.

I did my best to prevent the election of a stupid body builder as Governor of California, which to this day he still cannot pronounce. I protested with a big sign and everything.

Now we have an 11 % unemployment rate, and a budget deficit of 21 billion dollars, and gay couples can’t get married.

I’m really sorry.   I hope we can do better.

prop-8-equality

Posted in Horrible Stuff, News | Tagged , | 13 Comments

Death & Anger Updates

I just stupidly clicked on an ad that asked “Why so angry?” and ended up here. UGH, now I’m even angrier! Fuck you, happier.com! If I wanted a bowl of flowers, I’d go get one.

That’s the anger part.
~

Death has been a topic of debate, in the news and over here, regarding the right of parents to withhold medical treatment from their children. Jump in, if you have strong feelings about this.

Also, I am finally getting some feedback on something I wrote about euthanasia nearly three years ago. How come now? I don’t get it! But I’m still interested in it, and in hearing other opinions.

Posted in Horrible Stuff, News, Religion | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

Why Don’t Women Dress for Men?

girl-with-huge-wedges

Here is a quote from the blog where I saw this photo:

When I came across this picture on the facehunter a few months ago, I started thinking about [the shoes] night and day. Staring at them didn’t do the trick though: I still had no idea about who made them and where I could get them from.”

A normal person (i.e., a male) would consider it nuts to think about a pair of shoes night and day. I am disgusted to say that I’ve been just as fucked up by a pair of shoes, and like these stupid wedges, they were shoes that would only appeal to another woman.

What the hell is wrong with us?

I can’t say what every man likes or doesn’t like, but I’m pretty sure they’re not attracted to droopy harem pants or huge wedges. We women clearly dress for each other, and I think it’s a pathetic and expensive endeavor. I’m looking for away out.

Maybe it starts when girls first go to school and begin to jockey for position. Popularity was always based on clothes and how willing you were to make other girls feel bad. Brains were not an advantage, but money was. I’m assuming that in schools with uniforms, one’s status is determined by handbags and accessories.

Why can’t we get over it once we’ve grown up? I know that fashion is supposed to be a means of self-expression but it’s mostly about conforming to what the fashion media tells us is cool, so that other women will admire how quickly we jumped on board the current trend.

The feverish quest for a pair of shoes is clearly a form of sublimation.   And unless the shoes have stiletto heels,   it’s not part of a mating ritual.

What do you think fuels the desperation to be fashionable? I know that men often feel like this about cars, but the sexual symbolism is obvious there.

If you’re reading this and you’re a woman. you are going to be looking for a dress or jacket with padded shoulders. Don’t bother insisting that you’ve always liked padded shoulders. You’re going to want them and all you’ll get for your trouble is some girl going “OMG, that is so fierce!”

I’m hoping for some enlightenment or a debate, but for extra credit try showing these pants to your boyfriend or husband and ask what he thinks:

horrid-harem-pants-ugh

Posted in Disorders, Fashion, Rants | Tagged , , | 31 Comments

The Crypto-Hipster

the-hipster-cover

I am planning to work on a thorough and definitive study of Hipsters, but naturally I’m putting it off,   because it involves a lot of work.

However, I think we can all agree for now that a Hipster is someone else, not oneself.   It’s someone we disdain, in the same way we once disdained Yuppies. Hipsters can be described as people who are already sick of something you have only just discovered.

Tonight, my nephew came over and found me at my computer, enraged by some shit I was reading. I started ranting about how much I hate the way Hipsters have to covet and collect things that might be considered morbid: old medical instruments, taxidermy, creepy shit like this nineteenth century Japanese pregnancy doll.

pregnant-doll

He rolled his eyes and said dismissively: “That was hip maybe twenty years ago.”

I got very excited, having trapped a live Hipster in the act of being a Hipster! I asked him to tell me what was hip RIGHT NOW, this week, and I even promised not to reveal the valuable secret. He told me that he’d have to think about it. Then we went out to have dinner and I got drunk.

While drunk, I accused him of being a crypto-Hipster, which was so satisfying that I didn’t even care about his denial as the conversation drifted to post post post-modernism. Please feel free to go around slandering and annoying your loved ones with this useful new insult (which I thought I made up before googling it and seeing that it already exists.)

Posted in Rants, Words | Tagged , , | 17 Comments

More To Love From Shopbop

plastic-bag-dress-sad-redhead

Remember Sad Redhead Girl? Back in the day when she never smiled? Well, here she is in a plastic bag of some kind. It’s purported to be a Metallic Goddess Tank, by Free People. The Shopbop copywriter seems to be stumped by it, and I can’t blame her. In fact, after reading some descriptions today at Pink Mascara,   I realize that describing clothes is quite an art!

The Shopbop writing is full of awful jargon and cliches, but at least they are emphatic about each piece. At Pink Mascara, it’s like “This is so cute, it will look cute with other stuff, maybe.”

How would you   describe this plastic bag top that Sad Redhead Girl is wearing? Don’t get distracted by her wonky eye. I’m looking for a top-notch piece of copywriting.

And by the   way, here’s Starving Girl again, who hasn’t had a bite to eat since the last time I mentioned her. However, she has perfected the sullen expression that is her trademark.

still-not-eating-at-shopbop

Posted in Fashion, Words | Tagged , , | 14 Comments

Angelina to Jen: Just Kill Yourself!

angie at cannes 2009

Each time I see a picture like this, I can feel Jen dying a tiny death, like an oragasm in reverse.   Even this close to death from starvation, Angelina is breathtaking.

Swathed in nude chiffon, lips emitting a flourescent glare equal to ten thousand scarlet bordello lanterns, Angelina is a vision from another planet.   She is absinthe to Jen’s glass of milk.

Poor Jen! Imagine the whole world wondering why you don’t kill yourself? Having to constantly protest that you’re fine, you’re great, you couldn’t be happier?

Angelina is rubbing it in. God bless her.

Posted in Celebrities, revenge | Tagged , | 27 Comments

Men Love Skirts & Rachel Bilson’s Chanel

thom-browne-skirt

When this skirt suit by Thom Browne sold out at Gilt Group (reduced to $1,288) fashion blogs got all excited.

What’s the surprise all about? The men I know LOVE Thom Browne.

Let’s see, men famous for wearing skirts:   David Bowie, Mick Jagger, David Beckham.   Okay, then! I’d like to see more guys wearing skirts.   They are welcome to my skirts too, since I’m not going to wear them any time soon.

A man wearing a skirt says to me: “I’m confident, I’m rebellious, come and get it!”

There are far worse things for men to wear,   starting with baseball hats or Metallica T-shirts. What other fashion advice do you have for men, anyone out there?

~

In other news, Rachel Bilson (whoever she is) was robbed, and They took all her Chanel! Boo hoo!   This is a travesty, you just don’t do it, you don’t take someone’s Chanel.   Rachel, my heart goes out to you!   How about buying some Chanel crap from me?

chanel-hoops1

chanellink2

$120 each piece, plus US   shipping, Rachel, and guaranteed authentic.   Hurry up, before They come for my Chanel, too.

Posted in Celebrities, Fashion, News | Tagged , , | 43 Comments

Antichrist, Anyone?

antichrist-scene

I admire Lars Von Trier more for his pranks than his artistry, although I thought Dogville was pretty brilliant.   Breaking the Waves, Dancing in the Dark, nope, not for me. Too much angst, too little catharsis.

Now, his new film Antichrist has riled up viewers at Cannes, and has divided critics into two camps (roughly, “What a genius!” and “What repulsive trash!”)

Here’s the storyline: A married couple goes into the woods to help the wife recover from the death of their child. Things get out of hand, ending in shocking violence and sexual mutilation.

How much would you pay to not have to see this movie? I don’t have much in my bank account but I’d be willing to empty it, if that’s what it took.   Lars, I love you, don’t ever change, just don’t come near me with anything sharp.

Here’s the trailer if you’re up to it.

Posted in Art, Horrible Stuff, News | Tagged , , | 15 Comments