Special Olympics Fuss

Oh god, President Obama made a joke comparing his bowling ineptitude to the Special Olympics. Big deal! Now we have to hear everyone talking shit about it, not only people like Mrs. Palin but normal people, too!

This sanctimonious PC shit has gone too far. Disabled, challenged, whatever, but we need to be allowed to have a sense of humor! Mr. Obama was mocking himself, as his tone clearly indicated. People who compete in the Special Olympics can watch the interview and decide whether to feel insulted. Everyone else should just shut up.

There are so many things to get mad about, why must people always focus on the wrong things? Every time I’m near a TV, I hear someone yelling about AIG and executive bonuses. It’s caused an uproar unlike anything I’ve seen in years.

Big fucking deal about the bonuses, what about the fact that we’ve destroyed Iraq and caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people FOR NO REASON?! Where was all this righteous anger during the last seven years?!

Here’s something you can get mad about instead. According to the Associated Press, this man is accused of having sex with a dog and a horse.

I don’t like his expression, and I don’t like his do-it-yourself haircut. But I suspect this story is a hoax and here’s why: ” A 13-year-old girl said she saw Coppes with her Anatolian shepherd. Coppes is also charged with abusing the girl’s small Palomino horse.” The words Anatolian and Palomino are the tip-off, right? If it is a hoax, you heard it here first!

And going back to Mrs Palin, as one does, let us ponder this: Alaska is only now considering whether to make bestiality a crime. Good call, Alaska! While you’re at it, remember that aerial hunting isn’t nice either.

Posted in News, Rants, Words | Tagged , , , | 19 Comments

LA Fashion for the Goth in All of Us

Skin.Graft is an L.A. based label I first heard about via Amanda Palmer of the Dresden Dolls. That’s how hip I am. But I forgot about it until recently, and now I can’t get enough. Look at the antler girl! I asked for antlers, and the universe answered. The ruffled skirt is one of Skin.Graft’s trademarks, and I think it rules.

For their fall/winter 2009 collection, designers Jonny Cota, Cassidy Haley and Katie Kay pulled their inspiration from “neo-Victorian royalty and overly tarnished motorcycles smashing into each other at high speeds.”

Sounds good to me.

While my bosom was still heaving over Skin.Graft, I learned that Louis Verdad has a new collection that is also heavy on the Goth-inspired leather and spikes.

Mmmmmm. When I retire to the attic like Mrs. Rochester, I plan to be swathed in Louis Verdad on the occasions that my Victorian mourning gowns are in the wash.

Posted in Fashion | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

What Kind of Wassonery is This?*

Ooh, here is our friend Erin at a party the other night at a shop in L.A. I love the exposed bra! I’ll bet she picked up this styling tip from a Homeless Woman! Still, she makes it her own. She brings it, even.

Does anyone know what the tattoo says?? I can’t rest until I know.

Also, Erin will be selling off her closet tomorrow at her boyfriend’s shop on Main St. in Venice. She only wants to wear her own designs from now on.   If I had a stronger constitution, I’d stake it out and take photos.

Now that that cunt Erin is copying me in the Shop My Closet department, I’ve been inspired to SLASH MY PRICES! Come on down to Sister Wolf’s Closet   by clicking on the link on the right-hand column. More good stuff is coming, too!

*credit for Wassonery goes to crocodilian. (and Amy Winehouse)

Posted in Disorders, Fashion | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments

What is it About Antlers?

I’ve had a thing for antlers for a few years, and I see I’m not alone. Antlers seem to be pretty chic all of a sudden, and even though I hate it when the whole world has to copy me, I want the antlers to keep on coming!   This deer head is at Vivre.com, and it would make a nice Mother’s Day gift for me. Click on it to see its full glory.

This antler hat is at Patricia Field Online, and speaks for itself.

Then there is this unforgettable image, my original mySpace photo!

It was the armpits that attracted all my “friends” of course, not the antlers. Still, antlers are the way to go. If you come across any antler items that make you think “Sister Wolf!” please give me a shout.

Posted in Art, Fashion | Tagged , , | 15 Comments

Shop My Closet!

Here is an exciting new feature: Now, you have the opportunity to Shop My Closet, simply by clicking on the link underneath “About” on the right.

I’m tired of stockpiling things I’ll never wear, but I need money to replace those things with more things. I’ll never wear those things either, but that’s not your problem.

I will update the page at least once a week. Paypal or personal checks, it’s all good.

Posted in Fashion | Tagged | 5 Comments

Fritzl Trial: Quote of the Day

Nutcase Joseph Fritzl is finally on trial for rape, incest, murder and enslavement, but   his lawyer insists that Fritzl is no monster.

Lawyer Rudolph Mayer insists that his client was only trying to create a second family when he locked up his daughter in a dungeon for 24 years. The essence of Mayer’s No Monster defense is this:

“If you only lock up your daughter to have sex with her, you’re not going to have any children, you’re not going to get schoolbooks (for them) or a Christmas tree.”

Posted in Horrible Stuff, News, Words | Tagged | 15 Comments

Meet Madonna’s Personal Trainer!

Today I read a thing about Gwyneth’s expensive new gym in New York, and her partner/personal trainer, Tracy Anderson. Tracy is also Madonna’s personal trainer, and she takes credit for creating Madge’s controversial body.

If you check out Tracy’s website, you can see a gallery of photos that highlight her sinewy pelvis. There’s probably something wrong with me, because the lean pelvis looks painfully deprived of flesh AND a little too much like a young boy. Call me crazy.

Tracy actually looks more like a nice little troll in real life, and that is comforting. But I knew she was a liar after reading that she only lets Madonna lift 3 pound weights. Girl, don’t play us like that!   Anyone who’s ever lifted weights knows that is bullshit!

Tracy likes to pontificate on her fitness philosophy, which includes the promise of looking young until you’re 100. She talks about it here and all over the place.

However, other people like to talk about Tracy. TMZ talks about some lawsuits against Tracy, and shared her mugshot.

Other people like to talk about how Tracy ripped them off, here.

I was so excited by all this that I went back to Tracy’s website, where if you click on “About Tracy” you will find “A Letter From Tracy,” where she talks about a time in her life full of “bummers.” She whines about being too “trusting” and how she has overcome adversity.

Yay for Tracy! Now I’m happy. I hope Gwyneth and Madonna know all about the “bummers” but if not, oh well, they’re both as lean as beef jerky, and that’s what matters most!

Posted in Celebrities | Tagged , , | 16 Comments

“No Eating”

No Eating is a powerful new play that has been described as a cross between No Exit and Gilligan’s Island, with echoes of Endgame in its theme of absurd futility.

Starring Kate Moss, Karl Lagerfeld, Carine Roitfeld (not pictured) and Beth Ditto, the non-action takes place on a desert island. Moss, Lagerfeld and Roitfeld refuse to acknowledge the presence of Ms. Ditto for the first two acts. Even when she sings into a bullhorn and flings her Fendi skirt at them, they continue to pretend she isn’t there.

In Act III, hunger has set in. Karl has given up looking for a helicopter to rescue him. He talks about his mother and blames her for everything. Kate starts to gnaw on her own foot, as Carine screams that she needs a scale to weigh everyone.

All at once, Kate and the two Felds notice Beth Ditto. Karl confuses her with Amy Winehouse; he is delirious from hunger. Kate and Carine tell Beth that she’s an icon, just like them. Beth sees the hunger in their eyes as they approach her, and warns that she is fattening.

The four castaways stare into space, realizing that hell is not other people, but oneself. Beth Ditto walks into the sea, either to survive as a human raft or to drown. The curtain falls to the muted strains of “Back to Black.”

Posted in Art, Disorders | Tagged , , | 7 Comments

The Ethics of Hair Extensions

Fergie is rocking* some unfortunate new hair extensions, but that’s not the worst of it. In the March issue of Allure magazine, you can learn about the business of hair extensions, and you will never feel the same about them.

The Venkateshwara Temple, at Tirumala in the south Indian State of Andhra Pradesh, is thought to attract more pilgrims than Jerusalem, Rome or Mecca.

Over 18 million devotees visit every year to pay their respects to an incarnation of Vishnu; the God that Hindus believe protects and sustains all that is good in society.

Every day, 12,000 pilgrims have their heads shaved by barbers in two great halls of the temple, which is India’s richest. The offering of hair is a sacred act, a gift of thanks to the Lord.

The hair of Indian women and girls is said to be the most beautiful in the world, and it is collected at the temple to be sold to middlemen, who then sell it again to companies that distribute it throughout the world. It is dyed 56 different colors and then resold to companies that sell it to your hairdresser.

The notion of someone sacrificing her hair in an act of devotion, only to have it end up attached to Fergie’s head, is repellent and grotesque, isn’t it?

The only way to offset this moral blunder is to donate time or money to Locks of Love each time you get hair extensions.

If only all moral blunders could be solved so easily!

Posted in Horrible Stuff, Religion | Tagged , | 10 Comments

Operation Bristol Palin

Even though Mrs. Palin has an Agenda against me (see above) I am big-hearted enough to want to help Bristol, who is innocent of sin, mostly.

According to reports, Bristol and Levi have split up, and it isn’t pretty. His sister Mercede tells the sordid tale to The Star, conveniently forgetting to explain why her name is lacking the customary ‘s’ at the end of it.

Bristol doesn’t want anything more to do with Levi. Looking at this photo from The Star, I’m not surprised. The baby looks terrified, and rightly so. A man who has to tattoo his last name on his arm in huge block letters is a man with either a memory problem or a spelling problem.   Wait, I think the spelling problem is genetic!

Okay, it’s up to us to devise a plan for Bristol, now that she’s a single mom. Here are my ideas:

1. Bristol can sell her book “My Mom is a Cunt Who Ruined My Life” for $10 mil.
2. Bristol can run away and change her name, leaving Trip with Trig, Track, etc.
3. Bristol can move in with me and we’ll get our high school diplomas together.
4. Bristol can run the Johnston meth lab with Levi’s mother while Levi heads back into the woods to do whatever it is he does.

Which plan do you support, or is there a batter one? Please help Bristol, who didn’t know nothin’ ’bout condoms or birthin’ babies!

Posted in News | Tagged , , , | 17 Comments