If it looks like Anthony Weiner is about to show you his dick in this picture, it’s because he probably is. Or, he would if he could.

People are all excited that Weiner announced his run for mayor of New York City even though he was lying about his ‘redemption’ and must have known that the truth would come out. What the fuck is wrong with this guy, the pundits are wondering, and so am I.

Clearly, it’s some sort of pathology. He needs to send pictures of his dick to all takers, and he needs to talk dirty to strangers. He needs to do this despite a lust for political power, and the fact that these drives are not compatible seems to elude him.

Because I’m me, I am driven to look for the meaning of Weiner’s pathology. I am certain that his name has something to do with it. Having the name Weiner and looking like a giant nose with some incidental features surrounding it must have shaped his childhood and adolescence. Think how mean people were in school even when your name isn’t Weiner.

So there’s the childhood insecurity and humiliation, and maybe a resulting obsession with outsmarting his tormentors. He’s a small man physically, so he pushes himself in the gym. He rises to an elected office and marries an attractive power-junkie with strong ties to the Clintons.  He’s got it made, but then there’s his dick and the fact that it requires acknowledgment and/or admiration from strangers.

Couldn’t his wife admire his dick enough? Did her familiarity ruin the fun for him? Does he have an unconscious need to humiliate his wife, to transfer his own humiliation onto her? Or does he thrive on the risk of doing something that could topple his whole set-up? Something so stupid and distasteful that no one could excuse it?

His own inclination is to blame twitter: “If it wasn’t 2011 and it didn’t exist, it’s not like I would have gone out cruising bars or something like that. It was just something that technology made possible and it became possible for me to do stupid things. I mean, the thing I did, and the damage that I did, not only hadn’t it been done before, but it wasn’t possible to do it before.”

Got that? If only that damn technology didn’t exist, he wouldn’t be tempted to use it!

His wife looked pretty crazy at their joint announcement today and who can blame her. If she would just smack him in the face, we would all feel better.

Help me figure out why Weiner is nuts. What’s your analysis?