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Godawful Writing Award!
It is my privilege to bestow the first Sister Wolf Godawful Writing Award upon Refinery 29.
Please enjoy the prize-winning masterpiece below:
~
For the true connoisseur, it is the writing equivalent of a box of delicious chocolates. I LOVE the last few words, “they so dearly deserves” but for some reason my favorite linguistic fumble is the use of “smattering.”
Congratulations, Refinery 29!
Suggestions for Jane™
Here is the newest “Lita” by Jeffrey “Laughing his ass off” Campbell.
The Exclusive Black Shag. At Karmaloop. (Nickie Frye found them)
Jane, before you say no, hear me out. These shoes would show that you are a Man of the People, you know, like Evita! You could revel in how ironically awful they are, while scratching your itch to spend money and totter around hoping not to fall.
I think the possibilities are endless with these shoes.
Besides scaring the shit out of people, you could also _____________________.
*Who can finish this sentence?? Feel free to use “voluminous.”
Sartorial Coolness and Nonchalant Grace
I’ve had an epiphany and here it is: I don’t want to know about anyone’s personal style!
After reading about Andrea Linett, a nice woman who looks like Sarah Jessica Parker, at stylelikeu.com, I find the whole Look-at-My-Wardrobe craze to be WAY too much information. It’s all so embarrassing.
People seem to be hopelessly enamored of their own specialness. I hate the word “enamored” but I’m using it to get in the mood. I think the awful prose of the stylikeu wordsmith is rubbing off on me!
Try this: “Among the voluminous amount of people that inspire Andrea is …”
Are you happy with the usage of “voluminous?” Me neither! It just gets worse until you want to stab yourself or puncture your eardrums.
Here’s what Andrea says of her boots:
“Somebody said, ‘I love your go-go boots,’ but they’re not go-go boots. They’re almost like Victorian sneakers or crazy old ice-skates without the blade. I love them.”
She reveals that her style muse has always been Bob Dylan, and she checks her style choices by asking herself, “Would Bob wear this?” I guess Bob approved the go-go boots, and I wouldn’t want to second guess him. Then there’s some crap about Kurt Cobain’s Iconic Sweater and the gushing appreciation of Ms. Linett ends with…
“The sweater is as much a reflection of her taste for edgy classics, as it is for her sartorial coolness and nonchalant grace. In her layers of patchouli and turquoise, Andrea has a gift for choosing the consumate creative influences, but she is one herself.”
Oh god. It’s not all Andrea’s fault but she has to take some of the blame.
**As an antidote to this terrible journalism, let me introduce someone who can really write: Leigh Alexander, who was brought to my attention by Lauren, a blogger with some fascinatingly diverse interests.
Let’s Be Egyptian
I tried to write about Max tonight but it made me cry so I gave up. Instead, I made this suicide prevention poster. When my webmaster wakes up tomorrow, maybe he’ll help me to put it on that side panel on the right.
Suicide prevention should be a wider campaign, with more visibility. I’ve spend a lot of time reading about it here. I wish I had known more about it, especially risk assessment. More communities should make it a priority, like San Louis Obispo, which came up with this video to reduce the stigma of mental illness.
Watching events in Egypt, I’ve been aware of how petty most of our concerns are. But it’s so uplifting to see people exercising their power! Why didn’t that happen in the US when Bush was president?!
People DO have the power to make change. The least we bloggers and our readers can do is unite to boycott the website that is poaching on the-coveted. You can write to them at info@thecoveted.com and tell them what you think.
Freedom of speech is a huge issue for me. So is keeping people alive.
Let’s practice being Egyptian instead of rolling over or expecting someone else to take action! I’m ready to be of service to anyone I can help.
All Kinds of Fuckery!
First of all, I see that I foolishly omitted a blogger rocking the black-hat-with-shorts uniform. This one is called Stylorectic and she just had a baby. She seems to really, really love herself and that makes me uncomfortable. I think this may be the key trigger of my disdain for certain style bloggers. No one should be so in love with their own self. Einstein didn’t love himself that much!
Then there is the-coveted imbroglio. Here is a blogger who is an institution, whether you follow her or not. And some cunts come along and start a website with the same name. Then, they send her a threatening letter, demanding that she not disparage them. Ha! Let us all support freedom of expression. Join Team Jennine.
Finally, there is the matter of a strange German man who has sent me an extremely nasty and ominous letter about posting one of “his” images, and then warning me that he’s going to give me a lesson in “RESPECT.”
I will not march to the ovens, Mister Respect! Leave me alone! No one can teach me anything, that has been proven over and over again.
I wish the world would stop trying to make me mad. Even temporarily.
Withstanding Irritants
If it’s not some troll taunting me fives times a day, it’s some guy threatening to sue me, or a new stack of unpayable bills or a photo like this one, of the Man Repeller’s friends.
I hope David Carlo Photography doesn’t mind me borrowing his picture here. It helps to illustrate why I don’t “get” the Man Repeller and why I feel more and more like a stranger in a strange land.
The best way to counter these feelings of existential malaise is a sedative and a long thoughtful look at Godfrey Gao.
He is set to be the first Asian male supermodel. He is 6’4″ and loves to cook. Let’s all forget our troubles for a moment and just be present, ahem. I know Godfrey would want that.
The Mystery of it All
What’s the point of being Calvin Klein if all it gets you is this 21 year old porn model??
Sruli Recht: Hunky Mad Genious
Sruli Recht was born in Israel, moved to Australia, and built a design studio in Iceland where he has produced a line of beautiful men’s shoes made from whale foreskins, and so much more!
“For his first complete collection of menswear, dubbed “When Gravity Fails,” Recht’s particular futuristic aesthetic can best be described as boasting an ethereal masculinity.”
“Icarus, post-crash,” for example, is a sheath made up of blackbird feathers sourced by local marksmen. By contrast, the white wondrous woolly creation entitled “Born out of this,” is derived from 27 still born lambs, giving purpose to the lost souls that were not meant to be.”*
Did you get that? That’s 27 still born lambs. Here is an older piece:
The Binding of Isaac is a four-cornered shawl of German flannel, dyed twice with the blood of a ram and left to cure for ten months. The hand-sewn binding is resurrected golden military dead-stock satin, and has twined and knotted tzitzit [tassels] attached to its four corners with 613 tight knots.
This designer has been at it for a long time. His work is the kind of thing I usually scoff at but there’s something about Sruli Recht that projects integrity as well as genuine artistry. His descriptions of his products are witty and often poetic.
Google him if you want to know more. Or see him on video here.
Do you find him pretentious or fascinating? Would you even have sex with him?
Romance Was Born Winter 2011
This sequin cheongsam is the one item for 2011 that has stopped me in my tracks. No shearling, no studs, no leather, no grown-up minimalism. Just a crazy shimmering rainbow of goodness.
More here.