Category Archives: Disorders

Intermezzo My Ass

Intermezzo was a movie starring Ingrid Bergman, and of course it’s a musical term. Now it’s also a drug for people who wake up in the middle of the night. I’ve seen ads for Intermezzo at least ten times tonight … Continue reading

Posted in Disorders, Horrible Stuff | Tagged , , | 9 Comments

A Poll for the Ladies

Which one do you want more? or

Posted in Disorders, Fashion, Houseboys | Tagged , | 29 Comments

The Unbearable Softness of Being

I went to see my psychiatrist when he returned from his three week vacation. Before I could make a peremptory statement about my hair, he said brightly: “New Hair!” He had no idea what I’ve been through, hair-wise. This is the … Continue reading

Posted in Disorders, Fashion | Tagged , , | 24 Comments

Hair is All

Aside from life and death, hair is all that matters. A really bad hair situation will trump  everything else, and I mean everything. Fucked up hair is excruciating. The pain is relentless. The knowledge that it’s your own fault makes it a source of … Continue reading

Posted in Disorders, Horrible Stuff | Tagged , , | 25 Comments

Bad and Badder

Watching the news tonight, I am struck by the word “evil” in reference to the shootings in Connecticut. A disturbed 20 year old young man who lives with his mother, has no friends, hasn’t spoken to his older brother for … Continue reading

Posted in Disorders, grief, Horrible Stuff, Words | Tagged , , | 20 Comments

The Ex Revisited

Twenty years on, I am still rattled by my husband’s fucking ex. Not only has she opened a tiki-themed restaurant too close to my neighborhood,  she has recently written the following: “There was a time in my youth, those long … Continue reading

Posted in Disorders, irritants, Rants | Tagged , , | 31 Comments

De Profundis

I’ve been meaning to read De Profundis since I read a biography of Oscar Wilde, around 100 years ago. I know Max read De Profundis and liked it. I was disappointed, though. Oscar Wilde managed to perceive a benefit from … Continue reading

Posted in Disorders, grief | Tagged , , | 17 Comments

The Horror of Sex

I had another bad dream a few nights ago that was not only horrible but also embarrassing. I’m not sure whether one can be held responsible for dream content. I would never choose such an idiotic and reprehensible dream.  I couldn’ … Continue reading

Posted in Art, Disorders, Horrible Stuff | Tagged , , , | 22 Comments

Fat Thighs

When I’m not thinking about death, I’m thinking about my fat thighs. My brain bounces between the two subjects like a ping-pong ball. I hate these preoccupations but I feel helpless against the tyranny of my depression. Obviously, I am looking for … Continue reading

Posted in Disorders | Tagged , , | 26 Comments

Let’s Do the Math

Admit that these shoes are perfect for me. They’re flat, they’re pointy, they’re an impractical color. They are screaming my name. Plus, they’re on sale, reduced from $850 to $340! I would be saving $510! But I know it’s wrong … Continue reading

Posted in Disorders, Fashion | Tagged , , | 33 Comments