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Category Archives: News
Virus Shmirus, Just Die Already
Before you go nuts, let me clarify that I’m referring to the old-and-sick. If you’re elderly with “underlying health conditions”, maybe your time is up. Maybe we weren’t meant to live lives extended by pharmaceuticals and pacemakers and stents. The … Continue reading
Academy Awards 2020 Exegesis
By popular demand, I’m going to do a halfhearted and highly truncated review of the show, focusing on the musical performances, okay? Here we go: Janelle Monae opened the show and even though it was a wildly all-over-the-place showbiz mishmash, … Continue reading
J Lo and Shakira: Empowering, their asses!
What the hell is wrong with people? Even the New York Times is applauding the Superbowl half-time show as “empowering” for women! Some crap about proving that age is just a number, because look how hot J. Lo is at … Continue reading
Brad and Jen, YES!!!
Fuck you people who are all “Who cares about Brad and Jen!” like you’re above all that stupid gossip. YOU ARE THE STUPID ONES. Brad and Jen can bring this country together, if you’d just let them! Brad and Jen, … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrities, love, News
Tagged Angelina, Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, love, SAG awards
7 Comments
Golden Globes 2020 Exegesis
This year, I am giving out my own awards in my own categories. You can suggest your own categories if I missed any. Most Egregious Dress: Duh, this one is a no-brainer, right? The winner is Gwyneth “please hate me” … Continue reading
I’ve Sat Down and I Can’t Get Up!
There is now a deep indentation where I sit on the couch, not the shape of my ass but a big amorphous blob, almost a sinkhole. I can sit there for six hours if there’s enough TV to watch. I … Continue reading
Just Say “Shut Up, You Fucking Moron!”
Everyone’s in a tizzy about how to talk to politically partisan relatives at Thanksgiving, but not me! First, because I would never have a meal with a Trump supporter. Not even my last meal on Death Row, which, as everyone … Continue reading
Are You Ready For Emotional Granularity?
Granular is a word that’s starting to make me wince, maybe because of the people who use it or maybe because it’s so onomatopoeic. I can almost feel it in my shoe, like sand. Nevertheless, I just came across a … Continue reading
5 Things You Don’t Need to Know
1. Demi Moore isn’t blaming Ashton Kutcher for the threesomes they had during their marriage but it was his idea, not that she’s blaming him. 2. Brad Pitt has realized that it’s not the roles that matter. What he really … Continue reading
Dear Lonely Young Murderous Incel White Nationalist
Dude, chill the fuck out! I know you’re mad, I’m mad too. We’re all mad. You have problems but you’ve misidentified them. It isn’t black people or Jews or immigrants that caused your problems, it’s the lies you’ve been fed … Continue reading