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Category Archives: irritants
Boy Or Girl
If you’re wondering whether this is a boy or girl, how dare you! Why should it matter?! You are stuck in your binary thinking. Even wondering is a microagression. I’m not kidding. What’s your fucking problem? The whole idea of … Continue reading
What’s Your Price For Sully?
Every time I see an ad for “Sully” I groan and announce that I wouldn’t see it for less than $500. Five hundred bucks is my customary price for a film that sounds truly awful, at least by my very … Continue reading
The Lena Dunham Problem, Solved
If you’ve always felt uneasy about disliking Lena Dunham, today she has given you license to go ahead and find her repugnant. You don’t have to struggle with your looks-ism or whatever else was holding you back. She’s an annoying … Continue reading
Millennials Ruin Everything
On an excursion to downtown L.A., we came across this hipster outside a coffee house, reading Nausea. It was like seeing a panda in its own habitat, only better. I know it looks posed, but I swear to god he … Continue reading
Weekend Hatefest
I’ll start with the word ‘pant’ in the picture above. Why can’t they use ‘pants’? The singular ‘pant’ is so grating, like ‘a red lip,’ which we all hate so robustly. I’m really struggling with existence. I’m looking for relief … Continue reading
The Good Kind Of Mansplaining
You know how when you’re watching TV and you can’t quite recognize that actor who looks familiar, or you don’t understand what just happened, or a character mumbles something and you didn’t catch it? So you ask you husband, “Who’s … Continue reading
Looking For My Group
In my desperation for contact with kindred spirits, I joined Meetup.com with the idea of finding a social group in my community that I could join. You punch in your zip-code and you’re presented with a bunch of categories to … Continue reading
How Much Less Could You Not Care?
It just occurred to me that too many people online are mentioning Back To The Future. Maybe they’re making a sequel or prequel. I actually love the term origin story, which I just learned this week. I love it because … Continue reading
The Gucci Dead Animal Shoe, $15,000
A sharp-eyed reader sent me to this shoe, which looks like it’s trying to run away. Run, Gucci goat-hair slipper, run as fast as you can! You know what, the poor thing is dead. Too late. [These} slippers are one … Continue reading
Posted in Fashion, Horrible Stuff, irritants
Tagged hideous crap, shoes, why can't I just kill everyone?
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Is Your Pubic Hair Silky?
Three young women noticed a vacuum in the marketplace for pubic hair grooming products, and voila! They formed a company to right that wrong, called Fur. Because money. Wait, I’m so sorry, I meant to say, because why shouldn’t we … Continue reading