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Category Archives: Rants
A Night Out
On a rare night out with my husband, we drove to an independent bookshop where a guy we like was reading an excerpt from his new book. I felt tentatively hopeful. I almost never go out in the evening. I … Continue reading
Do You Want to be a Pony?
Neither do I! But a whole lot of people are working hard at this very moment to perfect their gait and spruce up their saddles in preparation for some exciting “ponyplay.” Why am I the last one to find out … Continue reading
The Birkin Delusion
This Hermes Birkin bag is available at 1st dibs for $85,000. Can we figure out why? You could get this pink one for only $65,ooo. That’s a whopping savings of $20,ooo. But maybe you’d feel like a cheapskate if you … Continue reading
Comments For Jane 6-30-2010
This week, Sea posed in an ugly sweter and blamed it on Mom. I sense a rift between them, an overdue separation of their creepy merged identities. They no longer link to each other’s blog and they’re making subtle digs … Continue reading
Mrs. Palin: What a Fucking Cunt!™
Please force yourself to watch these two minutes of gibberish, as they will raise your spirits even as they insult your intelligence. Keep in mind that she’s speaking at a college and yet denigrates college students. I love this stupid … Continue reading
Because I’m Stupid
The only good thing about buying expensive shit is that you can sometimes recoup some of your wasted money on ebay. Look at this Kate Moss ‘Groupie Coat!’ Why did I buy it from Topshop? Because I’m stupid, that’s why. … Continue reading
I Just Want to be a Winner
Refinery 29 is running a contest, and the prose roped me in: “Simone is hooking up one lucky reader with an insanely rad, cropped, silk jacket. Just tell us how you’d wear a shrunken moto with your fave summer outfit, … Continue reading
Another Horrid Attack on a Poor Blogger Girl
Please forgive me Jesus, I can’t stop myself without Your help! First, I was upset to see these $595 boots ( or rather, “kicks”) that have gotten so much press. Why does this poor girl need to spend so much … Continue reading
In My Hour of Darkness
Nothing helps to soothe the pain like a picture of Sea’s big fat face. The vulgar coat, the stupid Louis Vuitton bag, the painful shoes and the gratuitous Gaysian and midget are just icing on the cake. I hate you, … Continue reading
The Land Down Under
While searching for dreadlock remover (imagine a little sad-face thingy here) I came across this wonderful product for use Down There. “Rid yourself of the unwanted grays and give hair down there a beautiful boost of color that’s destined to … Continue reading